Monogurui
by Momoko
Summary: If you have a stable mind, back away and start running. This *ahem* interesting fic got started at 4 AM on a schoolnight after watching excel saga. Insanity and randomness abound ^_^


O_O I can't believe I wrote this. I suppose this is what happens when I find wherever mom stashes the sugar cubes. ^_^;;;  
Oh and the guy(not the girl) in the beginning is known only as the "hunky nameless bastard". *cackles insanely*  
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Monogurui  
Prologue: I Gave Miss Destiny a Gray Hair  
  
At precisely two thirty eight in the morning; on April twenty fourth; in New York, New York; a girl in her mid teens plotted in the darkness of her bedroom.  
"Ooh, this is gonna be fun..." The speaker obviously had a knack for stirring up trouble.  
"It's been a while since I've made someone have a nervous breakdown." murmured the femme-not-so-fatale. She really was quite the Plain Jane. She wasn't quite ugly, but she wasn't all that pretty, either.   
As she mulled over her plans, he wove her light brown hair into an extremely messy braid. Apparently, it was a habit of hers to play with her hair. The minute she finished haphazardly braiding the longest sections, she twirled one of her two teal bangs around her index finger as she chomped down on her gum. She had intended to dye her bangs a bright, electric blue, but the hard water in the apartment building refused to let her desire come to pass. As quietly as she could, she crept out of her bunk bed. She pulled out a black tee shirt with a white skull and crossbones and a pair of torn up jeans from her closet and put them on.  
Grinning maniacally at the Legolas Greenleaf and Vash the Stampede posters on her door, she packed her backpack with a silver laptop and several packages of pocky. She turned the doorknob almost nervously as she glanced around the room a final time.   
"If mom finds out I'm messing Destiny-chan's plans up again, she'll take you away, Debbie! Jaa mata ne!" She winked and waved at the silver and black PC in the corner. Oddly enough, the computer's lights blinked, as if in reply. The laminated thousand yen bill; the foam die; and the 'kuroneko' with a sign that said "NYO" that covered the case of the computer screen seemed to rise and fall, as if the computer was nodding. Owning a sentient computer was fun, only if the PC didn't have an attitude, though. Lucky for them, or not depending on who "they" were, the turquoise and brown haired girl bounced through life with enough attitude for three people.  
However, now the girl walked quietly, rather than bouncing as she was so prone to doing. Her green-hazel eyes almost glowed with anticipation. She grabbed her metal plated boots from her closet and opened the front door after ripping the ofuros (1) off. Just as she crossed the threshold, she heard the click of a safety to a gun going off.  
"Aw, crap." she muttered. 'Caught with cookie crumbs on my hands...'  
"Just where do you think you're going, baka-brains?" A low, throaty voice whispered into her ear. His blue tee-shirt brushed her bent elbow as he moved to the left.  
"Er... a short walk?" She said hopefully.  
"At two thirty AM, in New York City, in the downtown area? Even you're not that stupid. And you thought you could escape." His breath on the back of her neck made her shiver. She hated it when he did this.  
She sighed in apparent defeat and turned around slowly. They stood nose to nose. The man's long black hair fell to his shoulders and his malevolent slate-grey eyes bored holes into hers. Before the man knew what was happening, she kissed him forcefully, shoving a huge wad of green gum into his mouth in the process, and kneed him in the place it hurt most.   
Being silent was a moot point by now, but it never hurt to be cautious. She slipped into the elevator and pressed the big, shinny, "down" button. Grinning in her psychotic way, she blew a raspberry at the poor man as the elevator doors shut. As he choked on the gum, he thought of the most painful thing he could do to her. Moaning, he clutched his crotch and spat out the gum.  
"Damn you, Momoko!" He hissed.  
The psychopath, better known as Momoko, tugged her boots on while thinking of a new way to go on her "adventures". She just now ran out of ways to get that asshole off her back. A certain blonde gunman had given her the gum idea. (2)  
"Maybe next time I'll bite him... it worked the last three times I tried." Her habit of talking to herself had long since given her the rightful nickname of an absolute nutter. Oddly enough, she liked that. Her usual encounter with the popular people ended with the popular ones backing away in fear as she muttered darkly about "stupid frickin' humans". Not to say she hated all humankind, she just didn't like a lot of them. (3)  
  
As soon as the holy aura of her residence faded from the elevator, she teleported to her pocket universe. It had been a while since she'd visited her bishounen. Her mother told her didn't approve a short while ago. Naturally, she tried to escape to the pocket universe virtually every day after that.   
After a lot of earsplitting squealing and painful glomps, Momoko finished greeting her bishounen. She promptly told the ones who weren't unconscious her plan and bounced into her lair. The floor was not a floor at all, but a massive feather mattress. Rather than cover the 'floor' with boring sheets, black velvet carpeted the pouch of down. Black velvet covered the walls Black velvet covered the walls too, and even the ceiling! No light source existed within the peach's lair(4). To a normal person, it filled the heart with dread and fear. This is Momoko we're talking about. Death came to take her away, so she giggled, gave death a hug, and bounced on her merry way.  
After settling in the center of the thirty-by-thirty foot square room, she pulled her laptop from her backpack and prepared the poor, defenseless universe for the madness and havoc she intended to wreak. Five minutes and twenty boxes of pocky later, the insane fan girl who often claimed, "One by one, the green pandas steal my sanity bit by bit." got up and stretched. Giggling like a small child with free reign in a candy store, she teleported to Mount Olympus. There, she promptly poked Athena in the forehead; gave Hermes a noogie; presented Zeus with a rubber chicken; and gave Aphrodite a note that said "j00 |33 1 |-|07 (|-|1012".(5)  
With that taken care of, she jumped on Destiny's back, bit her shoulder, stole her staff and loom, and whacked her upside the head with the polearm(6). After the overbearing scent of peaches disappeared from the mountain and Destiny burst into aggravated sobs.  
"Not again! Why, Zeus, WHY?!?!" the poor fate whimpered.  
"Because she feels like it, Destiny." The white bearded king of the gods chortled.  
"Oh, that's so VERY reassuring, my king!" The overly stressed being shot back dryly as she looked in a mirror. Squawking with horror, the fate pulled at an other ash-colored strand from her head. Zeus chucked in response and decided to go infuriate Hera with his rubber chicken.  
  
Unfortunately for Destiny, Momoko intended to do this many more times. The peach girl's insane smile never really did anything to help anyone's worrying over the twisted tapestry she wove with Destiny's loom. True, she never actually wove this tapestry personally, but she certainly enjoyed changing it. This particular tapestry showed clear signs of wear. The entire tapestry drew attention to and centered around one silver thread. Spying her enemy, the golden thread tightly wound around the silver, she contemplated cutting it.  
"Naaah, that's too cruel, even for this guy." she whispered as she gently tugged the golden thread away, nearly dislodging the pink thread wrapped around them both.   
As much as she despised the life connected to the pink thread, she didn't have the heart to cut that one either. Her task would have been made infinitely easier had she just eliminated them both, but she found it too much of an unhappy task. She carefully wove the golden thread around another thread. The thread with the golden one tangled with both the silver and golden threads in a place farther from where she started her work.   
  
But where should she go from there?  
  
"Oy... I hadn't even planned it out this far..." She blinked dimly at the threads. Somewhere in the Nether world, Selene despaired.  
"My daughter's fate is in the hands of a complete moron..." The moron grinned stupidly and admired her handiwork.  
"I guess I'll just let it play out from here. Ooooh, I LOVE being evil!" she cackled.  
  
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He left her. Pure and simple, he left her. Hell, he left the entire planet behind! Bequeathing almost all of his powers to Helios, he disappeared into space. One day he looked at her with eyes of smoldering love, the next she's a little sister to him. Why?  
  
Fiore  
  
He said he felt horrible after he struck Fiore in the chest with one of his roses. He could still describe the look of betrayal on the alien's face. Even after so long, he retained that memory. After he told this to her, she knew, and wished him farewell. Sure, her senshi wanted to flay him alive, pout salt on him, and use their powers to revive him, then start the process over again. She stopped them, hoping he'd be happy with his only childhood friend.  
She told them she'd be okay, that she'd go on without him. Damn, but she was a bad liar. From the way her 'odangos' drooped, to the deadened look on her face, and her refusal to play the Sailor V game; even Shingo noticed her misery.  
She needed a change, some sort of transition from her old life to her new, single life. She needed something different in her life. Most of all, she needed to get over him. She knew her senshi already started plans to set her up with someone. She giggled at the thought then frowned and sighed, there was no chance of her loosing who she was. Instead, she dimpled and skipped along the barren path to the mall.  
If life decided to throw her a curve ball, then she was going to score a grand slam.  
She had already cried enough tears for Endymon to last several lifetimes. _Ironic_, she thought. She knew many more tears awaited her, but she didn't care anymore. To her, living life involved misery with joy, light and dark. One existed with the other, without the other they were nothing. Come what may, she'd take the bad with the good if it was the last thing she did. Lucky for her, it wasn't.  
Whether the Moon Princess liked it or not, she would always have adventures. Her fate would always be in the hands of another until she grasped her thread tightly. It's gonna be a LOOOOOONG time until she gets a hold o' that elusive string.   
  
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1- the paper thingie shinto priestesses/priests use to bind/sanctify/seal people or places  
2- Vash the Stampede. In episode four, he plugged the striking chamber of a pistol with gum so the wielder couldn't shoot the damsel in distress.  
3- people are still in debate as to whether I'm human or not. Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if I was a demon. ^_~  
4- Momo = peach. My stepmother(EEE! I love her!), who is Korean but knows japanese, said my cheeks look like peaches. the nick stuck ^_^;;;  
5- leetspeak. directly translated: you be one hot chick  
6- staff  
Whoa.... The part that happened in the sailor moon world was really short... ehhhh.... it's 4:13 am and I haven't slept yet, so I'm stopping this here for now. ~_~ night night...   
  



End file.
